Why We Compare Ourselves To Others and How To Stop

Ever wonder why you keep thinking about that other person and the “perfect” relationship they have, the “amazing” house, and the “greatest” kids? If these thoughts are always on the back of our minds that we’re caught up in the comparison wheel.

And the comparison wheel is the quickest road to unhappiness. Why, because there will be always someone or something that you can compare yourself too. Unless, you’re the richest person in the world and have the greatest and latest houses. But if you don’t want all that pressure then it’s easier to drop your comparison mindset so you can live more happily.

In this article I’m going to share with you why we compare ourselves to others and how to stop it.

I believe that it is perfectly natural to compare ourselves to others. In fact, the ability to compare experiences, objects, and sensations is the most important faculty you have as a human. Without it we wouldn’t be able to compare anything and extract knowledge. We understand black because of the experience of white and we compare the two together. We understand what is good only from comparing to the experience of bad. That is why comparing is the most crucial mental faculty we have. However, it’s when we compare falsely where we do the most harm to ourselves. And today, in the advent of technology and social media, we are comparing falsely more then ever as we live two separate lives, the ones we share and the ones we live.

Today, we see a proliferation of self-expression. We share our personal lives to the public. The lines between what is public and private has become skewed. And when we look at the lives of others on social media we only get a compartmentalized glimpse of their life. We only see one aspect.

For instance, we may see a couple smiling and laughing and think to ourselves, “I wish I had a perfect relationship like her, she always has the perfect life.” However, that is a sore generalization and I can guarantee you that she has many more problems then just that. If you grew up in a first world country and have been pitched the idealized and glamorous life then you automatically assume that you are entitled to a near perfect life with a house, a nice car, a perfect relationship. And when you see other people having these things “out” there in the world you ask yourself, “Why don’t I have these things?” And then you become sad or depressed because everyone else seems to have what you don’t.

Life is far more complicated then this. First off, everyone has issues and problems. Having a problem or issue is the natural state of life given that we live in an entropic universe. What does that mean? It means energy always changes form.

Things will die, decay, and fade. The quicker you realize and accept this the quicker you can see that everything requires upkeep. Including your house, car, relationships, and body. It is the nature of life to have issues and problems that need to be addressed. So if you’re the only one feeling like you have these issues on the planet, your wrong. Everyone has issues.

Secondly, when you see these compartmentalized versions of people’s lives you’re only seeing a small portion. Like a movie, it’s just a slice or snippet of life. Context is incredibly important in understanding the truth of a situation and life. And all social media posts and any other ways of comparison are always taken out of context. For instance, you only ever truly see a glimpse of a person’s life unless you really open up to them and they open up to you and you can see and share one another’s world’s with each other. So know right away that anytime you compare a facet of your life to another, immediately you are wrong. By the very nature of comparison and context you cannot 100% accurately compare your life to another. So, why even try.

We compare our lives to others because we want to know if we’re living the best life possible. But what is the best life possible? How do we know that we are actually “living the good life”?

We cannot. We just simply live and exist and have to accept that. We have to accept the fact that we just have to make our own decisions and figure out and feel what is best for us. The more you dive deep into your own being, question your own life and existence, and make decisions that make you happier the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be.

So how to let go of this? Stop consuming the lives of others. Stop looking at their posts and there social media. Simply, just live the life that you want to live.

Focus on yourself 100%. Live in your own world. This sounds like narcissism and solipsism. It’s not. The more you truly focus on yourself and taking care of yourself the more value you can offer others. Ironically, the more you can focus on yourself and let go of others the more you offer and value you can offer others. Focus goes where energy flows. If you focus on yourself, you transform yourself, and that in turn allows you to transform the lives of others.

Deepest Blessings and Pranams!

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