10 Ways Our Mind Plays Tricks On Us

Do you ever have an experience where you doubt everything, your identity, your perception of the world, your understanding of life? Do you feel at times that you’re your own worst enemy?

In this article I’m going to share with you 10 cognitive distortions or tricks that our minds play on us that keeps us from seeing life the way it really unfolds, which leads to unhappiness.

#1 Our mental filter is faulty.

Our mental filter is that part of our brain that decides what we “perceive” out in the world. It allows us to see what comes in and what goes out and it tends to color our entire experience of something. For instance, let’s say you go out with a bunch of friends to eat and your vegetable-fried Tom Yom Soup isn’t as spicy as you’d like it to be. You say, “This soup is terrible now my whole evening is ruined!” Is your whole evening really ruined? What about the fact that you have good company with you that you’ve been enjoying all night? What about the fact that you just had a job promotion or that you have the ability to go to a restaurant and get a meal of your choice in the first place? Your mental filter is that part of your brain that only allows you to see one thing at a given time and sometimes it goes awry “ruining” our entire evening. Take a step back and revaluate everything.

#2 All or nothing thinking.

This is also referred to as black and white thinking. A person doesn’t show up once, or they’re late and you say, “They’re always unreliable,” and you fail to remember all the times they did show up on time.

#3 Discounting the Positive.

We forget how many amazing things we accomplish as well. Sometimes it’s easy for us to downplay ourselves or get caught up in thinking that our achievements are no big deal. We say, “Anyone could’ve done it.” Or “I haven’t completely stopped drinking all together so It doesn’t count.” Too many times we don’t give ourselves credit for all the amazing things that we’ve done. Be easy on yourself and recognize that your efforts to become a better human being our all works in progress.

#4 Emotional Reasoning.

We feel something and so just because we feel it we automatically assume that it must be right or correct about who we are. Maybe we fail a test that we tried hard for so we feel “not good enough” or “stupid.” Are those things really true though? Back off yourself and remember all the things that you have succeeded and accomplished along the way.

#5 Blame and Personalization.

Blaming yourself when you were not entirely responsible or blaming other people and not admitting the role you played in the situation. Sometimes we tell ourselves things like, “If only that teacher wasn’t so stupid or mean then I would’ve gotten an A.” Or we say, “If only I had been born smarter then I would be further along in my educational career.” Reality is reality at the end of the day. Things play out and while there are legitimate reasons for the way things go down sometimes there are forces at work that are outside of our control. Be patient to blame yourself and others however remember to take full responsibility when you know you should.

#6 Mind Reading.

Making negative assumptions about how people see you without evidence or factual support. For instance your friend is quiet when he or she is usually loud and you say to yourself, “He must be mad at me.” Or, “Is he hiding something from me?” Your mind likes to make things up. It’s a manufacturing machine. If you’re concerned about what another individual might be thinking about you then just have some courage and ask them straight up. This will either confirm your suspicion or it will allow you to let the anxiety go.

#7 Overgeneralization.

Whenever we use words like “never”, “always”, in relation to a single event or experience we are over generalizing. Now, that one experience may be indicative of other experiences with that person or place however we need to be careful not to automatically assume that a person “always” does that behavior or that you’ll “never” get that job that you want so bad.

#8 “Should be”, “could be”, and “ought to” thinking when it comes to self-motivation.

If we use these things to motivate us then we will also use them to abuse ourselves or victimize ourselves when we don’t do things or things don’t happen our way. For instance, we say, “I should be more motivated to do this thing.” Well, you’re not. Be honest with yourself and say aloud, “I’m not motivated and I don’t want to do this.” And then go ahead and do it and tell yourself, “I’m going to do this even though I don’t feel like it.” Another example is we tell ourselves that people “should” know how we are to feel so we get upset and blame them when they do things that they “ought” to know will make us mad. This puts our emotional responsibility on other people instead of ourselves.

#9 Minimizing or Magnifying.

Seeing things as dramatically worse or less then the situation actually is. For instance, another person gets the promotion we wanted and we tell ourselves, “Now my wife will leave me because I’m not bringing that extra income in.” Or the opposite end we lost our job and have little money and we tell ourselves, “I’ll be fine. I’ll get some money from somewhere,” but we have no plan of action in place and our money is running out. We will end up on the street.

#10 Fortune Telling.

We make negative predictions about the future without actual support. We tell ourselves, “I’ll never be able to find myself a job,” even though our industry always has many openings. Or we say, “I will never sell my house,” even though the market is booming. Relax, the universe is always moving! Opportunity is everywhere. It’s the nature of life. Be a bit patient and realize that what you need will happen. It just may take some time.

Deepest Blessings and Pranamams!

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