Anger: Is it OK......to be angry at God too?

Do you ever feel that life is unfair? Do you ever feel like sometimes you just want shout fuck you to the world, people, and the universe or god?

Side warning, the word god in this article is just another word for universe, life, or the intelligence beyond the conscious mind. Life isn’t easy at times. It can get very hard, confusing, and frustrating. Sometimes, life doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, we really question whether it’s working for us.

In the spiritual community we like to tell ourselves everything happens for a reason and that life is working for us but there are definite moments in our life where we can think to ourselves, “No this whole thing is stupid. Fuck evolution, fuck growth, and fuck the whole process.”

I have these moments at times. Sometimes I’m working hard and it seems like everything just keeps going wrong or isn’t going anywhere. I don’t understand and I get confused because I feel like I’m supposed to be rewarded for expanding. When I get blocked from doing something that I really felt called to do I get confused. I say to god, “God, I didn’t even choose this path. If it where up to me I would’ve been doing this thing back there but I followed you.”

Some people think that we can’t be wrong, upset, or angry at god. That it’s a sin, or ignorant, or blasphemous. And from a certain standpoint it is. Who are we to say that the universe is wrong. We’re just a divine being living in a small mortal frame. We can’t see the bigger picture of what is truly going on. However, our emotions or feelings about life may tell us differently. There are still times in my life when I look up and say, “Fuck this,” and I’ll send two big middle fingers to everything. And you know what? It feels fantastic!

Many people who say that your being arrogant or stepping out of line if your mad and angry at god never experienced a moment in their life where they truly felt separated from him. They’ve always had some sense of connection and I seriously doubt whether they’ve ever experienced some deep trauma in life.

I’ve had plenty of moments from childhood to when I was a young adult where I felt completely removed and separated from god’s presence. War is a perfect example. I can remember one time where I had to clean the blood off the machine gun because my friend had been just hit by a IED, another word for bomb. The blood kept the rounds from feeding into the machine gun so the machine gun became inoperable, which is a serious problem in a battle. In moments like that I remember feeling so far from anything remotely related to life, god, or aliveness. How does the mind rationalize moments like that? In those moments and reflecting on them afterward it’s hard to say, “It all worked out for the better.” I consider myself a scientist when it comes to life. I question it meticulously no matter what and I take everyone’s opinions even so called enlightened beings or masters with a grain of salt. If a moment like that is supposed to work out for the better then I would like to see how.

At the same time this is just the mind doing its thing. It’s the mind wanting answers and explanations, but the deeper part of our true nature and being exists beyond the mind. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t honor the mind because it is a part of our human experience.

It’s important to know what anger is.

Anger is usually a mask for fear. And we all have fears based off of our past experiences.

Some of us have fears of not being loved because we never had a mother or father truly show us love. Some of us have fear of completely trusting ourselves because we may have made a bad decision that costed the lives of those around us.

Life isn’t easy and it certainly isn’t black and white. Our experiences are legitimate. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that getting mad or angry at god, no matter how enlightened they’re, is wrong. It’s not. If you’re feeling that way then it is for a legitimate and particular reason. If you feel that way towards god and the universe then it’s because there is some experience where you truly felt cut off from god, or source, or the universe and you need to process and integrate the rest of that experience so you can continue on with life.

So, what to do if you’re angry and frustrated and pissed off at the world or at god or the universe. Feel into what you’re feeling 100%. Get mad, get angry, and get upset. Voice how you truly feel. The great thing about the universe or god is the fact that anger and upset and disappointment was created by him. If you feel like giving two middle fingers to the world and the universe then do it. Let all your rage and anger out. Don’t worry about god being angry or upset with you. God knows more then you. And the great thing is he completely understands your position.

At the same time he will correct you when you need it too. Ironically, once you do this and you dive into how you’re really feeling you will begin to find your true being beyond all of it.

God and the universe is always there. There is a deeper intelligence beyond the mind that truly loves and cares for you and wants the best for you. And you can experience this directly. I’ve had moments in life where I’ve felt completely separated from god. And my mind would ask, “God if you truly care, if you truly give a shit about me and this world well then where were you when this happened?” I’ve also had moments where I’ve seen the light beyond this world. Where I’ve felt unconditional love and bliss so strong that my awareness could barely stay within it.

If you find yourself angry today ask yourself two questions.

#1 When and where in my life was everything so overwhelming that I felt cut off from any support whatsoever? And then go fully into that memory and allow yourself to experience it fully.

#2 God do you really care for me? And if so then start to show me signs or signals.

When I really doubted god’s love for me I went for it 100%. I told god with the most sincere heart, “God let me experience you directly or kill me now.” My yearning to know and experience the creator was much greater then my fear of death. If your reading this and you truly doubt that there is something beyond you that doesn’t care for you then test it. That’s right! Test God! Challenge him!

When I did this I layed down on the floor without moving for 5 straight hours in intense prayer. After five hours I slipped out of my body and found myself floating above my body. Then I remembered my deep longing to meet god in person. And then I had NDE. That one experience of unconditional love changed my life forever. That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where I doubt or get angry and upset. But whenever I do doubt I remember that moment and bring that feeling back into the body. And when I do that tears of joy and gratitude come flood my being.

Deepest Blessings and Peace to you all!

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