Why do I feel so Alone? 3 Solutions to feel fulfilled!

Have you felt an emptiness inside you that you cannot place the source to? Do you surround yourself with people yet nothing makes you feel close or connected? These are common feelings that everyone experiences from time to time however if you feel yourself experiencing them on a daily basis then there is something more to your inner world that your conscious mind isn’t addressing.

I know what it feels to surround yourself with people yet not feel complete or satisfied emotionally. To feel like there is some never-ending hole deep in the bottom of your being that nothing or no one can fill up. There is a valid reason for this feeling, as well as a solution.

In this article I will cover why you feel empty or alone no matter how many people you surround yourself with, then secondly I will give you a solution to start putting yourself on the right track back to inner healing and emotional satisfaction.

We are energy beings. And as energy beings we are always exchanging information. Information and energy takes many forms here in the physical.

It can take the form of money, it can take the form of food, it can even take the form as gasoline. Whatever form it takes it is important for you to realize that you are an energy. And your energy is always being exchanged. And if your energy is always being exchanged then that means your being is always changing. Energies are always coming in, and energies are always coming out. So if you want to feel happy or fulfilled within your own being then you have to master the way your life energies flow through you. And that means mastering everything from food intake to relationships to money. But, for this article we are only going to specifically focus on emotional exchange. Because the fact that you feel empty or hollow inside no matter who you surround yourself with has to do a lack of understanding about how your emotional energies flow in and out of the world. You need healthy emotional connections just like your body need health food. Food builds you physically and emotional relationships build you emotionally.

So why do you feel empty and hollow?

Because, on the inside your emotional energies are not being supplied.

If anything, you don’t have any for a number of reasons. What I see with most people who feel emotionally empty or void is a trauma. Some trauma either in relationship such as rape or incest or even war sucks the emotional energy from their body and leaves a hole or gap within their emotional body. It is this or they grow up in a Narcissistic family where one family member sucks all the life energy out of everyone else to survive. The child grows up with a narcissistic parent who leaches on the child. These are the parents who try to live vicariously through their children always pressuring them and pushing them. Not treating them like individual human beings instead they are mini representations of the parent. And if they don’t live up to the expectation of the parent then swift retribution is taken against the child. The child feels drained constantly. Unfortunately, a bad pattern is established here.

The child learns subconsciously not live for him or herself but rather everyone else. They don’t establish boundaries of any type emotional or physical. They getting into relationships where people are constantly taking their emotional energy.

I want to make this abundantly clear right now. Relationships should always either fill you up or keep you at an even keel. Children who grow up in narcissistic families don’t know that everyone else is draining them, it’s all they ever known. They just feel this lack of support or lack of fulfillment but they don’t even know how to describe it because they’ve never been fulfilled. If your glass has always been empty and you don’t know what it’s like to be filled then how can you know being empty is a bad thing. For this reason many people turn to addictions, whether through food, drugs, or sex always trying to fill up their emotional self that is crying out to be heard or filled or seen.

Even your so called “friends” can be draining and leaching on you and you don’t even know it because that is the only relationship you have ever known. One that drains you of your life force.

Imagine yourself as an empty vessel, not as a human being. Imagine all the energies that flow into you. If you had to make a list of all your emotional connections now which ones would fulfill you? Get a piece of paper out, and write down all the emotional connections you have in your life. Which ones are supporting and fulfilling? Which ones just seem to be there for the sake of being there. Which ones are draining? I will give you a hint, the ones that are draining are the ones that people ask and call you up just for advice or to rant and give nothing back to you. So how to feel emotionally fulfilled?

#1: Cut people out of your life.

Many of us are hanging onto relationships that no longer serve us. And by that I mean that they no longer help us grow, evolve, or expand. They don’t give us something in return or add value to our life. If you feel annoyed or wish that the other person wouldn’t call you all the time everytime you see them on your phone then it is time to communicate to them that you want to end the relationship. This may feel unnatural or odd at first when you start to do it but it’s just because you’ve never had too. It’s normal to move onto new relationships just as it is normal to move onto new careers and physical locations. Life is always changing and moving. Things that stay the same tend to decay and things that tend to move on usually grow. Because look at the very nature of growth. Anything that grows is expanding which means it is changing. If you are not changing or growing then chances are you are stagnant and not moving, which can make you feel empty or stuck.

#2: Draw appropriate boundaries both emotional and physical.

When people come into your life be sure that they are contributing value to your life and growth. If they are not then why be with them. This may sound harsh or cruel but if you want to feel filled up within yourself then you have to be careful as to who you share your energies with. If your glass is all filled up and you find a lot of empty cups coming to you asking for energy then you’re going to feel pretty empty if you don’t draw appropriate boundaries and learn to say no. Learning to say no to people can be the most empowering and rewarding thing you do for yourself. And if your one of those people who has a heart for the world and want to help everyone else before yourself then realize and understand this, “How can you help the world if you cannot help yourself? How can you have a heart for the world if you don’t first have a heart for yourself.” Put yourself first above everyone else, not in a narcissistic sense but first realize that in order to start taking care of other people truly in a way that helps them then you first have to take care of yourself. If you give an ear to every joe walking down the street with a sob story your not helping them or anyone. Because most people who go around telling sob stories all the time just want another ear to hear them and then they’ll go on to the next person. And if you pay attention to their sob story it usually doesn’t have a solution. Whatever problem you have in life there is a solution. You just need to look for it. When a person tries to tell me their sob story I might listen for a bit, and then I’ll offer them a possible solution. If they say, “Hey, yes that’s a great idea I will try that.” Then that’s great. But if they just offer explanation after every explanation of why they cannot take some type of action towards empowerment and bettering their life then to me they’ve already made up their mind and are subconsciously choosing to not feel or be better. There is nothing wrong with reaching out and asking for help if you feel down, depressed, or sad. Life can be hard and full of tragedy. However, if your not taking any action to alleviate the problem then there is no excuse. Stay away from these types because they will continue to drain you of energy and if you allow them they will just come back for more and more.

#3: Surround yourself with people who add value to your life.

Who want to contribute and grow and expand and share. We become what we surround ourselves with, it is that simple. If you surround yourself with poison you will feel pain. If you surround yourself with flowers your going to inhale and feel better about the world. We are not individuals, we are a part of our environment. How we feel, act, interact, and be in the world is directly connected to our surroundings. We may think we are separate in the mind. We are not. Everything is always flowing in and out of you from food to emotional energy to money. Learn to master the flow and regulate it all and you will learn to master your own life and being. Because in the end that is all this whole thing is. It’s an energy exchange and it is up to you to how much energy you want flowing through you, how much mastery you can have over your life energies. Deepest blessings!

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